Friday, December 2, 2011

swing and a miss

Sometimes this blog is so sad and neglected it makes me feel sad and neglected.

Remember how around this time a year ago I was doing art for 8, 9, 10, 12 hours a day? Me too. I miss it some days. Most days I forget about my former self and get wrapped up all over again in my current self. My mother self. This new self I'm trying to figure out how she relates to her former-self self.

But I want to do more art.

Sure I've started a few sketches/studies here. I did a watercolor I sort of like--got a bit over worked but has some redeeming qualities. For the most part though, I've felt completely saturated visually (this city is stunning) but nothing has translated on paper or canvas.

I think I need to collage. And sketch.

I'm going to strip down what I've been trying to do--paint--and see if painting will come organically after I've channelled some creative energy into consistent little projects. Right now painting is on my to-do list. I do it after I've checked the blogs I read, the dishes are done, I've swept for the umpteenth time . . .

I sketched today for the first time in a while. I opened my sketch book a few days ago and saw written on the inside cover: Bologna - Vol. I.

I laughed to myself. Try Volume ONLY. That's okay. I'm learning to lower my standards in some areas because they have to be so high in others. I can only do so much (I should write that phrase ten times daily as to not get so discouraged so often).

But back to sketching today . . . I tried sketching Ada. I always want to sketch Ada. She's so beautiful and I see so many people I love in her. But she's ACTIVE! not just active. So trying to sketch her as she ACTIVE!s around the room is always challenging. I tried drawing from a video still. It looked like an old man without a neck. Then a photo. It looked nothing like her.

Then I decided just to draw her eye. Then another eye. Then maybe her nose . . So I had this little face staring back at me that looked more like Ada and less like someone else's kid.

I challenged myself to sketch for 15 minutes every day this month. I missed the first day. But today I started sketching and looked up at the clock nearly an hour later.

It's been so long since that has happened.


  1. Paige. You are truly inspiring! I just saw your blog, linking on facebook after your mom's post. Your work is beautiful. I wish I would have seen your show at BYU. I knew you had talent years ago (I remember seeing some of your paintings when you were, what, 14?), but you have followed that dream. A woman to be admired. You are living my dream... Italy, sketching and painting (or trying to paint) every day...being a mom. Living the dream! Way to go, girl!

  2. I'll just copy and paste this and put it on my blog. Cuz I feel the EXACT same way. (granted I'm not a mom so what's my excuse!) Really miss not having art be my number 1 priority. Like you, always on my "to do" list,, rarely gets crossed off.